Yesterday we set out to buy a Christmas Tree.  A little history first...When we first got married and moved into our house in Sparta we promised that we would always cut down our own Christmas Tree.  Mandy had fond memories of traipsing through the woods as a child and decided that was one tradition we needed to uphold.  Unfortunately, Rob was still spending his days and nights in the hospital when the first opportunity to honor this tradition occurred in Dec 05.  We considered skipping the whole tree thing that year but Mandy was bound and determined to not let a little paralysis stop them from having their tradition.  So Mandy solicited help from her friend Pam and they went with their dogs Marley and Jack in search of a tree.  After stopping at several farms and obsessing over the ‘feeling’ they got from the first few, they found the perfect tree, hidden like a Christmas orchid, resting deep in the New Jersey wilderness.  Unfortunately, the tree had a dead chipmunk in it which should have been a sign that cutting your own tree isn’t always the way to go.  After a moment of thinking, "Am I really going to chop this tree without my husband on our first Christmas together in our brand new home while he is stuck in a hospital in agony?", Mandy began hacking away.  Her friend Pam stood aside in awe of the emergent lumberjack. For 20 minutes the sawdust flew, and when the beast fell, it was carried a mile and a half back to the car and loaded for transport. In the end, we had our fresh cut tree and celebrated Christmas in our home together as a family. 

When Christmas 06 came around we were living at the beach in Carlsbad in a temporary apartment.  We had arrived in California just a few months prior with just a few bags of clothes and medical supplies.  When December rolled around, we began to realize that we needed to extend our stay at Project Walk which meant deciding that we would sell our home in Sparta and that Mandy would resign from her job.  At a time when we should have been preparing for the holiday, we were worrying about how we would afford Project Walk while keeping up with our mortgage payments.  Chopping our own tree was never even a thought....we were still trying to ‘justify’ the purchase of a tree at all that year.  Decorating for Christmas was really just an afterthought as we were busy making decisions that were changing our lives...big time.  So one afternoon after Rob completed his treatment at Project Walk, we pulled into a cut tree lot just as a huge fog layer overtook the California sun.  As we selected our tree, it actually felt like we were on the East Coast again just before a snow storm.  We of course had no decorations for the tree or the apartment but a quick stop at the local drug store fixed that.  Even though the tree was only decorated in the front and was the smallest tree either of us had ever had- it was perfect. 

Our 3rd attempt at actually following through with our tradition occurred yesterday.  We were in foul moods yesterday morning and really needed to get out of the house.  We did a little research and were very surprised to learn that you could in fact cut your own tree in the state of California.  The excitement started to rise and our anger at each other started to subside as we loaded Marley into the car.  We listened to awful Christmas music on the radio and snacked on roasted almonds as we drove the hour and half to the "tree farm".  As it turned out, 50% of the drive was through the fire damaged area.  A sad reminder of the events of last month but one that ‘justified’ us driving so far to buy a tree-at least we were supporting the community that had been devastated by the fires.  We could hardly imagine a tree farm actually existing in an area that is surrounded by desert.  Just as we were about 5 miles from our destination we came to a screeching halt-the road we were driving on was crumbling.....  Apparently the wildfires damaged the integrity of the cliffs and there was a construction crew on site to complete a makeshift repair.  So we sat, and sat and sat until we were able to continue on the now one lane road to our destination.  We pulled into the parking lot of the tree farm wondering if we were in the correct location.  Tree farms in California look very different then they do on the East coast.  Essentially they are made up of a flat sandy terrain with thousands of hoses.  It was very bare but there actually were trees in the ground.  Yeah!  A gentleman greeted us and said we could select our tree and then he would cut it and haul it for us (of course he would...we are in California remember).  As we maneuvered the wheelchair over the hoses with Marley in tow we were content and excited to make our selection even though it wasn’t exactly as we had pictured it in our heads.  Then our moment was interrupted by the sound of a collar jingling.....a HUGE barking rottweiler was charging for us.  Yikes.  The dog reaches Marley and she immediately sits down looking very afraid and then she turns around and we both know she is on her way to the place where she feels safe- Rob’s lap.  This also happens to be the place where she protects Rob, the place where other dogs can’t go, the place where if other dogs even try to sniff Marley quickly changes from the sweet, gentle dog to a protective growling one. We realize that if Marley makes it to Rob’s lap and the rottweiler comes near Rob (which she will because that is the purpose of her visit) there will be a royal rumble.  So Mandy takes Marley and starts walking very fast in opposite direction, leaving Rob alone in the middle of the trees with the rott.  He can’t wheel himself away because of all the hoses and he is definitely a sitting duck.  Mandy can no longer see Rob but knows he is feeling very vulnerable.   He finally yells over the trees that he is fine, "the dog is nice" and after the owners collect the dog...the hunt for the perfect tree continues.  Folks....there is a reason that California is not known for it’s Christmas trees.  The Monteray pine is nothing to write home about.  Every single tree was already brown on the inside and we decide we were destined to select our tree from the tented area of imported trees from the East coast.  We finally decide on the ‘Grand Pine’ and it smells great and is beautiful even though you can barely see the 10 ornaments that adorn it.  At least our house smells like pine and we are ready to celebrate our last (hopefully) Christmas in California.  Maybe next year we’ll actually cut our own tree together or maybe not??? 

P.S. – If you’ve had some trouble posting a message it’s not your fault.  It was not working for a few days (along with Rob’s email) but should be fixed now.

If anyone has the correct mailing address for the following please email me at mandyheller@yahoo.com: