It is really coming down out there now, 18 inches so far.  Looking out the basement door the stairs have lost all definition and instead remind me of the 10 foot drifts at Crater Lake.  I’m cozy, cooking in front of my parabolic heater with the Yule log DVD on repeat.  Mandy, at 39 weeks of winter bloom is snuggled with Trinity and Marley on the couch next to me. This is nice…

These last few days have been especially nice. A few nights this week we stayed up chatting about how life will change, what the baby might look like, what the birth experience will be like.  We’ve talked about some of our fears and some of our hopes.  How will the animals behave? Is this really happening? Last night the baby gave me a back massage…through Mandy’s belly! It was amazing.  I want this baby here NOW!, but, considering my van is under a foot and a half of snow, I could be persuaded to wait a few more days

**Update** Mandy is no longer snuggled in with the animals. She is shoveling the basement steps so Marley has a path to pee.  That woman couldn’t sit still if you paid her to.

Anyway, 6 days and counting and its all I can think about.  Boy or Girl? Blue eyes or Brown? Tennis player or really good tennis player? I’ll be posting when labor starts, probably something short just to let everyone know.  Thanks for checking in.  I’ve added some maternity shots to the photo gallery. You can check them out here.  Enjoy and everyone stay warm!

**Update Again** Tom just used the snow blower to blow snow off the deck, directly into the path Mandy just spent 10 minutes digging for Marley.  Nice one Tom

So this will be the last time that I celebrate a birthday as someone without a son or a daughter. Thank you for joining me. Here, for eternity, is what I know so far and what I want to record at this moment. Sorry for the scattered nature of this post, I just wanted to get it out.

11/02/1977 – life. Family. Greenport, Long Island. Music. Then,
I Discovered friendship.
Lost my father. Its funny, I really don’t remember the exact date. Lung Cancer. It’s more a smell than anything else, a chill in the air. Every fall I feel it, some time in November. A seasonal emptiness.
Then,
I Discovered mentors and college friends.
Found love. Mandy.
Apprenticeship. Narcissus and Goldmund. I knew it was special as I was living it thanks to a friend. Hoboken. Sparta.
Injury/rebirth. Turmoil. Sadness. Peace. Hope.
IVF.
32nd birthday. 11/02/2009. 11,689 days since the beginning of this thought experiment.
I’m curious about the next 32 years. Statistically, I feel like I’m halfway there.
What have I done with my life so far, for there truly is time for naught but bold resolves….
I have Loved. Lost. Learned. Made Life. Tried to help others. Asked myself important questions.
Am I happy? Yes. I have some moments of self doubt. Regret. But for the most part I smile.
Where am I? A section of rock called Virginia, U.S.. On the precipice of fatherhood. Self-indulgent.
What do I understand? Futility. Hard work. Love. Onomatopoeia. The double slit experiment. You.
What don’t I understand. Everything else. Entropy.
What do I think about often? Solitude. Gratitude.  This cathartic moment. DNA. Poetry. How I got here.
What will I try to pass on. Curiosity. Rhythm. Love. Happiness.
Thanks for reading,
Rob